Category: comedian
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No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all.
Larry David
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The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.
Terry Pratchett
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
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I haven’t changed at all. I’m the same as when I was 11.
Steven Wright
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I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.
Larry David
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I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.
Henny Youngman
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The original ‘About Last Night’ was phenomenal.
Kevin Hart
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I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.
Terry Pratchett
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How young can you die of old age?
Steven Wright
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There’s one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him. If he says, ‘Yes,’ you know he is a crook.
Groucho Marx