Category: comedian
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Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’
Robin Williams
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Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.
Charlie Chaplin
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People who eat with their mouth open should be punched in the face.
Kevin Hart
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I have no secrets.
Larry David
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I know that every time I list something that I am, I am potentially alienating a whole group of people. Publicists and managers will encourage you not to say what political party you belong to, what you eat, what you don’t eat, who you sleep with and all that stuff.
Ellen DeGeneres
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When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn’t happen.
Carol Burnett
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My act is an exaggeration of a part of me. I’m much more expressive off stage.
Steven Wright
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If my mother knew I did this for a living, she’d kill me. She thinks I’m selling dope.
Henny Youngman
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
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My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. ‘Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you’re stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem – just move on to the next. ‘Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.’
Demetri Martin