Category: comedian
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The ‘New Testament’, now, I quite liked. Jesus had a lot of good things to say, and as for his father, he must have been highly thought of by the community to work with wood – a material that couldn’t have been widely available in Palestine.
Terry Pratchett
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All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.
Groucho Marx
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My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’
Steven Wright
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Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.
Robin Williams
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Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I’m very casual about it.
Larry David
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I’m really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
Carol Burnett
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When things are a disappointment, try not to be so discouraged.
Carol Burnett
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I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.
Mitch Hedberg
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My neighbor has a circular driveway… he can’t get out.
Steven Wright
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You definitely want your kids to understand their heritage, but I don’t want my kids to just focus on being black. They are people. I don’t want them to judge other people or to be judged. I want them to be good people, so good people will treat them accordingly. I preach that to my kids and everything else falls into place.
Kevin Hart