Category: comedian
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It’s almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.
Carol Burnett
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A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Mitch Hedberg
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This isn’t life in the fast lane, it’s life in the oncoming traffic.
Terry Pratchett
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I promise you, I will have something on the Internet that is game-changing. I can’t lose.
Kevin Hart
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I’m sure everyone knows now that only a few have performed in Madison Square Garden. That list is so small. Now I’m on that list. I’m a part of a very small group, which is unbelievable. You relish in that moment for a second.
Kevin Hart
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You can be happy, or you can be right. If you want to be part of a couple and win every argument, you’re in trouble.
Steve Harvey
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It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
Demetri Martin
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
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You do projects with the hope they will be big and hope they will go beyond what you imagine.
Kevin Hart
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I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I’m the only one moving.
Steven Wright