Category: comedian
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This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
Henny Youngman
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What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
George Carlin
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My mom was very strict. She didn’t let me watch anything rated R or anything with cussing.
Kevin Hart
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Being humble matters.
Kevin Hart
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The truth is – and this is corny – I fall more in love with Portia all the time. I really do. She surprises me all the time.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Whatever is on the page is what I’m married to. I’m very prepared. I’m a thespian. I don’t like to improv. I don’t like to go off course ’cause I think that’s where stuff happens. When you stick to the material ’cause it’s written so well, that’s where the magic happens.
Kevin Hart
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Find out who you are and be that person. That’s what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
Groucho Marx
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Most of the time I’m thinking, I’m glad that scene was improvised.
Larry David
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Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn’t investigated. They might find that I don’t really exist – that I’m just a hologram.
Steven Wright