Category: comedian
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My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut – he’s my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill for me. I don’t really remember what we talked about.
Steven Wright
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I took my daughter to the father-daughter dance, and I cried like a little baby.
Kevin Hart
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It’s very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that’s not really needed does help the rhythm of it. It’s a gut feeling.
Steven Wright
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Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
Mitch Hedberg
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How can smart women be so stupid about men sometimes? Lack of knowledge. It’s what men have kept secret for so long.
Steve Harvey
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What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
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I’ve known Ben Stiller for a minute. One of my first movies was ‘Along Came Polly.’
Kevin Hart
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I do not, in fact, use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people’s memories for a while.
Terry Pratchett
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People may think I’m trying something new by telling stories, but they’re just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That’s what I do.
Steven Wright
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If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn’t know who I was, she would run away.
Larry David