Category: comedian
-
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Groucho Marx
-
Comedy’s about opening up and being unique, but to a point where the audience can relate to what you’re saying.
Kevin Hart
-
Before I look stupid and not know what a word means or how to pronounce it, I’ll stop the whole production: ‘Hey, real quick, guys. Define this word for me. Somebody.’
Kevin Hart
-
It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?
Mitch Hedberg
-
My life has changed. I’m not walking around any more wishing I wasn’t me, which was the case at one time.
Larry David
-
God has given me a life far beyond anything I ever dreamed about. God is, man, God is something else man.
Steve Harvey
-
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
Mitch Hedberg
-
People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they’ve been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don’t want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house.
Ellen DeGeneres
-
No matter how popular you are as a stand-up – you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny – it’s delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it’s not about you, that it’s about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.
Ellen DeGeneres
-
Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier.
Robin Williams