Category: comedian
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I know how men think when they’re not responding to questions in a clinical study.
Steve Harvey
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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Steven Wright
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They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you’re dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that.
Demetri Martin
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When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistakenly thought that if I was famous then everyone would love me.
Ellen DeGeneres
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You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.
Robin Williams
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Steven Wright
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I’d love to win trophies, be in movies, have a body of work I’m proud of and find a way to enjoy it along the way. Success is probably a more of a complicated thing than that.
Demetri Martin
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You write about what you know.
Larry David
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’
Steven Wright
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I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punch line.
Demetri Martin