Category: comedian
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My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
Larry David
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My mother raised me in the church. I was not allowed to stay home on Sunday; there was no option. I sang in the choir all the way up until I went to college.
Steve Harvey
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I think God’s going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
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Electricity is really just organized lightning.
George Carlin
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I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people.
Mitch Hedberg
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I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.
Mitch Hedberg
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I’m good friends with Jay Leno, good friends with Ed O’Neill, Melanie Fiona and Russell Simmons.
Kevin Hart
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Laughter heals all wounds, and that’s one thing that everybody shares. No matter what you’re going through, it makes you forget about your problems. I think the world should keep laughing.
Kevin Hart
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My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it’s not a joke, but it’s telling a story.
Carol Burnett