Category: comedian
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Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin
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They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it’s not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
Terry Pratchett
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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My Twitter reflects what’s going on with me in my life.
Kevin Hart
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We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on – I guess you’d call it welfare, what we called relief.
Carol Burnett
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You can’t remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn’t have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.
Terry Pratchett
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I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much. I started cycling when Zelda was born.
Robin Williams
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I write books back to back, and I work very hard on them.
Terry Pratchett
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I’m like your mother, your sister, whatever.
Carol Burnett