Category: comedian
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My mother’s idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive – the world is a wonderful place, rainbows and unicorns. If you said anything contrary to her, you were basically exiled.
Robin Williams
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I don’t take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.
Larry David
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I read so much stuff that black women say, especially about my relationship. ‘Oh, he left his black wife to go be with some exotic chick.’ First of all, my girl is black: she’s Jamaican.
Kevin Hart
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Yeah I’m thirty-six, but on the show I’m thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.
Steven Wright
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I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.
Carol Burnett
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The good thing about having chemistry is, when you get to the improv section of a scene, you’ve got somebody to feed off. It can go on and on and on, and the sky’s the limit.
Kevin Hart
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I ain’t never called nobody no redskin. I’ve never been mad, like, ‘Get out of this restaurant, you redskin.’
Kevin Hart
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I’m not always optimistic. You wouldn’t have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins.
Carol Burnett
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‘Educational’ refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger.
Terry Pratchett