Category: comedian
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Saying, ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying, ‘ I apologize.’ Except at a funeral.
Demetri Martin
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A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx
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The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
Demetri Martin
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I didn’t go to university. Didn’t even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.
Terry Pratchett
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I don’t eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
Carol Burnett
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I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will.
Carol Burnett
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I’d sooner be called a successful crook than a destitute monarch.
Charlie Chaplin
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When I was a kid, I read the science-fiction shelves, and I read the fantasy shelves.
Terry Pratchett
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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
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Plot exposition that can be gently wound out by the authorial voice and internal monologue of a character in the length of a page has to be delivered in a matter of seconds on the stage.
Terry Pratchett