Category: comedian
-
I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.
Larry David
-
One thing that writers have in common is that they are readers first. They have read lots and lots of stuff, because they’re just infested with lots of stuff.
Terry Pratchett
-
I love Maya Rudolph. She’s very multitalented herself.
Carol Burnett
-
But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let’s get our priorities straight. I think we all know what’s really important in life – winning an Oscar.
Ellen DeGeneres
-
For an author, the nice characters aren’t much fun. What you want are the screwed up characters. You know, the characters that are constantly wondering if what they are doing is the right thing, characters that are not only screwed up but are self-tapping screws. They’re doing it for themselves.
Terry Pratchett
-
I loved school, maybe too much, really. I was summa cum laude in high school. I was driven that way.
Robin Williams
-
Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m deaf and I try to imagine what it’s like not to be able to hear them. It’s not that bad.
Larry David
-
The thing about impressing your girlfriend is that when you do something like a private island in Fiji, it’s all downhill from that point.
Kevin Hart
-
It’s our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique. And that’s what I know for sure… I think.
Ellen DeGeneres
-
People love their animals so much so that they put little clothes on them and necklaces and booties and things like that. And if you love your animal, then you should feed them something that’s not dangerous for them. There’s a lot of poisonous stuff that they’re putting in a lot of that food, those by-products.
Ellen DeGeneres