Category: comedian
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You can do the same thing with $20 million that you would do with $50 million. So at a certain point in your life and in your career, you realise that it’s not about the money.
Kevin Hart
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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I’m on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I’m gonna rip it off.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I’m not the nicest guy on stage.
Tom Segura
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I love audiences.
Carol Burnett
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If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Robin Williams
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Some sarcasm is best told simply.
Kevin Hart
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I collect old portraits. They’re all just interesting pictures of people, and you just kind of wonder who they were and what they were. There’s a guy – I don’t know who he is, but he’s wearing a suit. He’s got his arms folded, and he looks like he sold insurance or something. I’m just wondering why someone painted him.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Well, as you know, I’m really only happy when I’m on stage.
Larry David
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I didn’t want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.
Steven Wright