Category: comedian
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When people get married young, you don’t really understand the true definition of marriage.
Kevin Hart
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I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Steven Wright
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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Demetri Martin
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If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.
Mitch Hedberg
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It’s very intense to be in front of a live audience. It’s just an amazing experience. It’s dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It’s electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you’re on this other planet.
Steven Wright
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My success comes in making fun of whatever you’re doing. That’s my way.
Kevin Hart
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My daughter has impressions that she does of me.
Kevin Hart
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As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in ‘Dharma and Greg’ was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.
Carol Burnett
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I like my shame straight up and honest, and nobody does it better than In-N-Out Burger. You go to In-N-Out Burger, and they ask you the most shameful question in fast food. ‘I’ll have a burger, fries and a Coke.’ ‘Will you be eating in the car?’ ‘Yeah. I think so.’
Tom Segura