Category: comedian
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I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it.
Carol Burnett
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I’ve turned down shows offering large amounts of money.
Kevin Hart
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In ‘The Secret Agent,’ it’s basically a character that was admired by Theodore Kaczynski, which is some fan mail you don’t really want to open. This is a man who is a chemist and who specializes in making bombs and despises humanity.
Robin Williams
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Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.
Terry Pratchett
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I’m not a doctor. I just have a tremendous amount of common sense.
Steve Harvey
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There’s something about being in front of a live audience that’s fun. It’s a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can’t get it anywhere else. And I’ve been doing it since I was 23, so it’s part of my being – it’s part of my fabric as a person.
Steven Wright
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‘Nation’ was one that I’d have killed myself if I hadn’t written it. It was absolutely important to me that I wrote it. It was good for my soul.
Terry Pratchett
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My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
Terry Pratchett