Tag: George Carlin
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I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
George Carlin
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I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work.
George Carlin
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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.
George Carlin
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When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
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When someone is impatient and says, ‘I haven’t got all day,’ I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer’s disease where they slowly began to recover other people’s lost memories.
George Carlin
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If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George Carlin