Tag: George Carlin
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
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Always do whatever’s next.
George Carlin
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin
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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I’m sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin