Tag: George Carlin
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Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
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‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?
George Carlin
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If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
George Carlin
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
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The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin
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I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose… it’ll be much harder to detect.
George Carlin
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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.
George Carlin
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
George Carlin
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
George Carlin