Tag: Groucho Marx
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can’t make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx
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I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
Groucho Marx
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
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I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
Groucho Marx
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx
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Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.
Groucho Marx
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Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
Groucho Marx
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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
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My favourite poem is the one that starts ‘Thirty days hath September’ because it actually tells you something.
Groucho Marx
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
Groucho Marx