Tag: Groucho Marx
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Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!
Groucho Marx
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
Groucho Marx
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Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Groucho Marx
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I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Groucho Marx
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Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
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Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Groucho Marx
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Groucho Marx
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I remember the first time I had sex – I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
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She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx
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I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Groucho Marx