Tag: Henny Youngman
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Those two are a fastidious couple. She’s fast and he’s hideous.
Henny Youngman
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I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
Henny Youngman
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My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?
Henny Youngman
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I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.
Henny Youngman
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If my mother knew I did this for a living, she’d kill me. She thinks I’m selling dope.
Henny Youngman
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
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You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
Henny Youngman
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
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When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henny Youngman
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My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
Henny Youngman