Tag: Henny Youngman
-
When God sneezed, I didn’t know what to say.
Henny Youngman
-
She’s been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
Henny Youngman
-
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put ‘page 2.’
Henny Youngman
-
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
-
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Henny Youngman
-
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
-
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
-
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
Henny Youngman
-
A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
Henny Youngman
-
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
Henny Youngman