Tag: Henny Youngman
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
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My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it’s feet first!
Henny Youngman
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My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
Henny Youngman
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.
Henny Youngman
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he’s Frank and in Chicago he’s Ernest.
Henny Youngman
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
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Take my wife… Please!
Henny Youngman