Tag: Phyllis Diller
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My father used to call me the laughing hyena.
Phyllis Diller
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I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’
Phyllis Diller
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If it weren’t for baseball, many kids wouldn’t know what a millionaire looked like.
Phyllis Diller
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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Phyllis Diller
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You know you’re old if your walker has an airbag.
Phyllis Diller
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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller
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What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
Phyllis Diller
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You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
Phyllis Diller
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The last thing I’d learn, well into my career, was how to get on, how to say hello, how to get in with the audience.
Phyllis Diller