Tag: Phyllis Diller
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The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.
Phyllis Diller
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Phyllis Diller
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It’s a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I’d be rotten to the core.
Phyllis Diller
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My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
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Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
Phyllis Diller
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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
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We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
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I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.
Phyllis Diller