Tag: Rodney Dangerfield
-
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield
-
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney Dangerfield
-
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
Rodney Dangerfield
-
Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie.’ He said ‘God beat me to it.’
Rodney Dangerfield
-
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
Rodney Dangerfield
-
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield
-
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
Rodney Dangerfield
-
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield
-
My cousin’s gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
-
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
Rodney Dangerfield