Tag: Rodney Dangerfield
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We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
Rodney Dangerfield
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At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield
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On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
Rodney Dangerfield