Tag: Rodney Dangerfield
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If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
Rodney Dangerfield
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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield