Tag: Rodney Dangerfield
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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
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My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Life is just a bowl of pits.
Rodney Dangerfield