Tag: Steven Wright
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
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I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
Steven Wright
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I don’t go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it’s contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
Steven Wright
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At one point he decided enough was enough.
Steven Wright
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If I ever had twins, I’d use one for parts.
Steven Wright
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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination; I’m very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I’m feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It’s gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
Steven Wright
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I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me – to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That’s normally how I perform. That’s how I am.
Steven Wright
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I’m going to get an MRI to find out whether I have claustrophobia.
Steven Wright
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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright
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I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world… perhaps you’ve seen it.
Steven Wright