Tag: Steven Wright
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Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Steven Wright
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I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
Steven Wright
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I was always making my friends laugh, but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
Steven Wright
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Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I’m not an improv guy. I’m a writer-guy who presents what he’s written.
Steven Wright
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All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
Steven Wright
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I wear a hat on stage so that people won’t be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don’t wear a hat, there’s no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
Steven Wright
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
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I went to a general store but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.
Steven Wright
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I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
Steven Wright
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You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright