Tag: Steven Wright
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I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
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I like to talk about lint and coasters, the expansion of the universe and maybe McDonald’s. I’m completely turned off by the idea of politics.
Steven Wright
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I’ve always had to conquer fear when I’m on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It’s absolutely in conflict with what I do. But once I deliver the first joke I’m okay. It’s like I’m out there all by myself just delivering my lines to nobody in particular without ever trying to notice the audience in front of me.
Steven Wright
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
Steven Wright
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I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night – and I’d dream about it being me.
Steven Wright
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Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can’t predict what people will laugh at.
Steven Wright
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It usually helps me write by reading – somehow the reading gear in your head turns the writing gear.
Steven Wright
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I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don’t.
Steven Wright
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It doesn’t make a difference what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.
Steven Wright
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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.
Steven Wright