Tag: Steven Wright
-
My neighbor has a circular driveway… he can’t get out.
Steven Wright
-
OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
Steven Wright
-
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright
-
It’s like the Wild West, the Internet. There are no rules.
Steven Wright
-
My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
Steven Wright
-
George Carlin’s album, ‘Class Clown,’ came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I’d come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don’t even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright
-
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright
-
I’ve been doing comedy longer than I haven’t been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on ‘The Tonight Show.’ There’s truly nothing like it; it’s intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
Steven Wright
-
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
-
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I’m the only one moving.
Steven Wright