Tag: Steven Wright
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Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won’t die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn’t have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn’t want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.
Steven Wright
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I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.
Steven Wright
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If you can’t hear me, it’s because I’m in parentheses.
Steven Wright
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Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn’t investigated. They might find that I don’t really exist – that I’m just a hologram.
Steven Wright
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I don’t feel that I’m explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I’m not trying to be a mirror, showing them what’s really going on the world. All I’m trying to do is think of stuff that’s funny, just like when I’m kidding around with my friends.
Steven Wright
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I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.
Steven Wright
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Comedians are sociologists. We’re pointing out stuff that the general public doesn’t even stop to think about, looking at life in slow-motion and questioning everything we see.
Steven Wright
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My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut – he’s my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill for me. I don’t really remember what we talked about.
Steven Wright
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It’s very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that’s not really needed does help the rhythm of it. It’s a gut feeling.
Steven Wright
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What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright