Tag: Steven Wright
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In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you’d get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it’s hard work, almost harder once you’re successful because you’ve got to maintain it.
Steven Wright
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It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright
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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Steven Wright
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Steven Wright
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’
Steven Wright
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I think God’s going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
Steven Wright
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Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh.
Steven Wright
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The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven Wright