Tag: Steven Wright
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Steven Wright
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I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright
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I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.
Steven Wright
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I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright
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I don’t get up, get dressed, go out, and think, ‘Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.’
Steven Wright
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If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven Wright
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I got a chain letter by fax. It’s very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Steven Wright
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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
Steven Wright
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Steven Wright