Tag: Steven Wright
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When I was 16… I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because… they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.
Steven Wright
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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
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When I die, I’m gonna leave my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright
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I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
Steven Wright
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I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Steven Wright
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It’s very intense to be in front of a live audience. It’s just an amazing experience. It’s dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It’s electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you’re on this other planet.
Steven Wright
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If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
Steven Wright
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I love eating chocolate cake and ice cream after a show. I almost justify it in my mind as, ‘You were a good boy onstage and you did your show, so now you can have some cake and ice cream.’
Steven Wright
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Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Steven Wright
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I just have a relationship with my imagination. It’s like my friend, almost.
Steven Wright