Tag: Tom Segura
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Traveling with kids is tough. My best advice is don’t do it.
Tom Segura
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When you tour as much as I do, you’re always on the road, and you tend to gravitate toward cities where you’re like, ‘Every time I’m in that city, the shows are fun.’
Tom Segura
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When you’re a comic doing a special, it’s like you’re directing your first movie.
Tom Segura
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I always like it when I eat myself out of breath. That’s a good boost to my day. You know, I’m eating, and I go, ‘Oooohhh.’ It’s better a few moments later when you get to think about it, when you’re like, ‘Why did I just stop to take a deep breath? Oh yeah, my body also needs air.’
Tom Segura
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I would trade 20 white babies for an Asian baby. If I’m ever rich, I want a closet full of Asian babies. And I’ll just pull them out whenever I’m feeling down, you know? All kinds. Korean ones. Chinese ones. Vietnamese – not so much. My dad was in the war, and I hold a grudge.
Tom Segura
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I don’t switch my act up to win over the crowd. I’m more like, ‘You came here… this is what I do.’ I dig my heels in harder if I feel like they are not on board.
Tom Segura
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I used to do much shorter jokes a lot more.
Tom Segura
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I wasn’t the crazy kid bouncing off the walls, I would just sit back a make comments and I made people laugh.
Tom Segura
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A lot of times, you land in a city, and you’re like, ‘This is not my people.’ I’m gonna do the show, but you don’t feel like this is for you. And then, some places, you just go and just fall into a groove, and you’re like, ‘This feels right.’
Tom Segura