Category: comedian
-
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
Groucho Marx
-
Sometimes you have to make a movie to make money.
Robin Williams
-
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx
-
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child… eventually.
Steven Wright
-
I’m a walking, talking enigma. We’re a dying breed.
Larry David
-
When you’re happy at home, you can make a lot of things happen.
Steve Harvey
-
The only thing I really recommend, if you’re starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anybody else. You can be influenced by people. I was influenced by Steve Martin and Bob Newhart and Woody Allen, but I never tried to be someone else. I always tried to be myself. And the reason people are successful is they’re unique.
Ellen DeGeneres
-
People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.
Robin Williams
-
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge… you can’t hear him talk.
Steven Wright
-
Let’s not forget, I got divorced.
Larry David