Category: comedian
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I learned the first night that IHOP’s not the place to order fish.
Larry David
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I like being a writer.
Terry Pratchett
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I never buy a house thinking that I’m going to sell it.
Ellen DeGeneres
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My business acumen is definitely growing.
Kevin Hart
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I love diversity.
Kevin Hart
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
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If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower.
Mitch Hedberg
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I’m really only happy when I’m on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That’s what I’m all about – people and laughter.
Larry David
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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Steven Wright
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It’s also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I’ve been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That’s why we’re here, after all, to help others.
Carol Burnett