Category: comedian
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I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.
Carol Burnett
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
Groucho Marx
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I think that what people imagine they’re going through is much worse than what they are going through.
Larry David
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Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
Mitch Hedberg
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I’m not going to stop having problems.
Kevin Hart
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I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.
Mitch Hedberg
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Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it’s not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.
Steve Harvey
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When I was on TV in the ’80s, I wasn’t thinking, ‘There’s a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he’s gonna be doing stuff that was influenced by me.’ I was trying to get my five minutes together. So now that those people are comedians and they’re influenced by me – it’s bizarre.
Steven Wright
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I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
Demetri Martin
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All I knew growing up was that my father was married to and loved my momma, period. He worked hard, made some money, and put it on the dresser. She spent it on the family, and he went out and earned some more. He taught me the most about love.
Steve Harvey