Category: comedian
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When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney Dangerfield
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
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This younger generation that’s around, that’s tweeting, Facebooking and Vine-ing, the fans appreciate that because they feel like they can get to you.
Kevin Hart
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In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Terry Pratchett
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
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While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I’d say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Anytime I’m involved with anything that’s well-received, it’s a surprise to me.
Larry David
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I can get where some scientists would say comedians are crazy. What you have to understand: A lot of comedians are dealing with a dark passion. A lot of these are guys coming from a tumultuous life, including myself. Some people need outlets, a way to express yourself.
Kevin Hart
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We’ve had cloning in the South for years. It’s called cousins.
Robin Williams
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Really, I don’t like roller coasters.
Kevin Hart