Category: comedian
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I’m a lesbian, an Aquarian, and a vegetarian.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I didn’t tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn’t happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
Steven Wright
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I think if someone gets kicked in the face it is their fault – they watched the foot come towards their face.
Kevin Hart
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
Larry David
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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
George Carlin
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An unemployed court jester is nobody’s fool.
Kevin Hart
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I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn’t know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was just in awe of this man because of what he’d done.
Robin Williams
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Comedy is acting out optimism.
Robin Williams
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On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we’d sit around the kitchen table – it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top – and sing.
Carol Burnett
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With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield