Category: comedian
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Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural.
Charlie Chaplin
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A kid should be told that you can have feelings.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I have a great memory.
Carol Burnett
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Whatever you define family as, family is just a part of belonging to something that takes care of you and nurtures you… and when you have lost that, and you want to get that back, it’s pretty easy to get emotional about it.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I don’t like people cleaning my room.
Larry David
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I can no longer type, so I use TalkingPoint and Dragon Dictate. It’s a speech-to-text program, and there’s an add-on for talking which some guys came up with.
Terry Pratchett
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I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said ‘Happy Birthday’ on it. I didn’t want to waste it so I just wrote ‘Jesus’ on it.
Demetri Martin
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Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell.
Carol Burnett
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I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
Rodney Dangerfield
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Nothing I can say or devise, and nothing anybody else can say or devise, is going to be perfect.
Terry Pratchett