Category: comedian
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I thought I would dress in baggy pants, big shoes, a cane and a derby hat. everything a contradiction: the pants baggy, the coat tight, the hat small and the shoes large.
Charlie Chaplin
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Our everyday lives are filled with complex decisions. We long for simplicity and ordinariness.
Ursus Wehrli
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I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I am at peace with God. My conflict is with Man.
Charlie Chaplin
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Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can’t make head nor tail out of it.
Groucho Marx
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I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
Groucho Marx
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I am who I am. That’s why my friends and peers respect and appreciate me. I don’t change or cater my actions to fit my surroundings. I’m myself 24/7. People appreciate that.
Kevin Hart
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It’s not morbid to talk about death. Most people don’t worry about death, they worry about a bad death.
Terry Pratchett
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I know there are a lot of comics that put their kids all over social media, but I think it’s weird. There are over 100,000 people following you. To me, it feels like you should probably tone that down.
Tom Segura
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Being on a comedy tour is like traveling with family, everyone is all having a great time… then all of a sudden it turns sour. One thing gets said out of turn, and everyone is on everyone’s last nerve. After an hour of silence, we all start laughing about it.
Steve Harvey