Tag: Erma Bombeck
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A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma Bombeck
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
Erma Bombeck
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
Erma Bombeck
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television.
Erma Bombeck
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Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.
Erma Bombeck
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Erma Bombeck
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
Erma Bombeck
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
Erma Bombeck
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Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
Erma Bombeck