Category: comedian
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
Groucho Marx
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‘Soul Plane’ put me in a position to succeed. I’m glad I had the opportunity to be the lead man.
Kevin Hart
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I like to use ‘I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter’ on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable.
Demetri Martin
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It’s very dangerous to wave to people you don’t know because what if they don’t have hands? They’ll think you’re cocky.
Mitch Hedberg
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People want to act like they know celebrities. They want to see pictures. They want to know where you’re going. They want to hear you talk about your family.
Kevin Hart
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I don’t pay attention to the number of birthdays. It’s weird when I say I’m 53. It just is crazy that I’m 53. I think I’m very immature. I feel like a kid. That’s why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can’t do certain things anymore – like doing the plank for 10 minutes.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
Rodney Dangerfield
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You can’t die with an unfinished book.
Terry Pratchett
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‘Best Man Holiday’ was a very successful film.
Kevin Hart
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I don’t have a college degree, and my father didn’t have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, ‘My boy’s got learnin’!’
Robin Williams