Category: comedian
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One year they asked me to be poster boy – for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
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When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright
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At the end of the day, your fans are the people who support you in and out. And their opinions matter.
Kevin Hart
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I’m not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
Larry David
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Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
Steven Wright
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Steve Martin in ‘All of Me,’ when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spirit in his body? It was brilliant.
Carol Burnett
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The bravest person I’ve ever met was a young boy going through massive amounts of treatment for a very rare, complex and unpleasant disease. I last saw him at a Discworld convention, where he chose to take part in a game as an assassin. He died not long afterwards, and I wish I had his fortitude and sense of style.
Terry Pratchett
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In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army, although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes and they said I could skip my last year.
Larry David
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
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You can’t trample infidels when you’re a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.
Terry Pratchett