Category: comedian
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I wasn’t the crazy kid bouncing off the walls, I would just sit back a make comments and I made people laugh.
Tom Segura
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield
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On ‘Think Like a Man,’ they got the best out of me because they allowed me to bring my own cadences and opinions to the character that I was playing. I think we got the best of that particular character.
Kevin Hart
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My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.
Carol Burnett
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What is normal? Normal was yesterday. If you lose a leg, one day you’re hopping around on one leg, so you know the difference.
Terry Pratchett
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The funny thing is, all my friends are short. I wasn’t aware of tall people till I got to high school. I didn’t know they existed. I was sheltered.
Kevin Hart
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I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it has fulfilled its purpose.
Charlie Chaplin
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Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
Steven Wright
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I invented the cordless extension cord.
Steven Wright
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I had a good loud voice and I wasn’t afraid to be goofy or zany.
Carol Burnett